


We Both Go Down Together

by Helloiamsilver



Series: Songfics [3]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-12
Updated: 2011-04-12
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:09:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloiamsilver/pseuds/Helloiamsilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They come from different worlds. They both know that there is only one way this can end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Both Go Down Together

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely inspired by the song We Both Go Down Together by The Decemberists. Here’s a link to it. Just copy and paste it I guess :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RJjKcm8U0s

“Here, follow me,”  
“Okay, just help me up,”  
“Gotcha,”  
The tall man with jet-black hair pulled the smaller blonde figure up to the top of the cliff face. They stared down the incredible height at the white-capped waves below. The tall one saw the other shiver in the breeze.  
“If you have doubts about this…” The black-haired man began.  
“No! Fuck no!” The blonde stared at the waves and rubbed his tattooed arms, slight tremor to his lips betraying his confident tone. “We have to fucking do this,”  
The other man smiled for a second, before his face fell back to tightness of stress.  
“You’re right…What other choice do we have?” The tall man with the pretty blue eyes met the warm brown ones of the other before looking back to waves below, “What other choice do we have?” He repeated  
“None. I have no future with you and you have no future with me,” The smaller man was staring into the water as well.  
“And neither of us has a future apart,” The other said quietly

\---

“Adam, sit up straight,” An elegant women of high birth gently directed at her son at the dinner table. The young boy dressed in his finery kept fidgeting.  
However Lady Lambert would not tolerate this misbehavior in front of guests.  
“If you keep still and be good, I’ll let you play with one of the servant’s children later,”  
“Brad?” Little Adam looked up with a bright smile. He was rarely able to consort with those of a lower station and loved playing with Brad, the son of a cook. He also had a shiny, sparkly new rocking horse to play with and he wanted to share it.  
“If you wish,” His mother replied.  
Adam was good the whole rest of the dinner, speaking properly when spoken to and keeping still.

\---

“Tommy Joe! Move your sorry ass out of my way!” An angry, drunk man shuffled into one of the run down tenements at the edge of town.  
A harsh kick was then directed at the head of the small, blonde boy huddled in the doorway.  
Tommy just dodged the blow and relocated to the corner of the one-room building.  
The man, Tommy’s father, turned his direction towards his mother.  
“You filthy whore! I heard from Jenson that you was with some man down the street corner! I should cut your throat!” He pointed an accusing finger before almost toppling over.  
“Like you haven’t been sleepin’ with every girl you could find in a tavern you bastard!” She shouted while wiping off her smeared lipstick.  
“How dare you talk to me that way!?”  
Tommy just put his hands over his ears.  
He didn’t cry. He knew better than to cry.

\---

“Adam! Get out here soon; it’s your own party you know!” His mother’s favorite servant called to him.  
He stared at the mirror, touching up his make-up once more before leaving to his eighteenth birthday party. It wasn’t exactly typical for men to wear makeup as Adam did, but he loved it. Loved the way it made his face look exotic and beautiful instead of the freckly mess it typically was.  
No one chastised him for it. The Lambert family was wealthy and influential and any member of it could do as they pleased.  
Besides, makeup was frivolous and pretty. A perfect display of status, just like his bright and gaudy, yet stylish outfit.  
He made sure his entrance was dramatic. The large staircase into the grand hall of the Lambert house was fitted with lights and all eyes were on him as he strutted down it. When he reached the bottom, he was given the final piece of his outfit by a servant, a large feathered top hat emblazoned with an A.  
He grinned and began dancing his way across the room as everyone turned back to the music. When he reached the platform where the small trio was playing, he climbed up and took a seat in the stool amongst them. He gestured for everyone else to stop playing, and then looked at the woman at the piano and exchanged a head nod.  
Singing was his passion. He knew it wasn’t exactly seen as a serious activity, unless it was in theatre (which Adam also loved), but it made for an impressive hobby.  
The partygoers quieted once the piano started and Adam began singing  
“Soaked…to the bone…”  
The whole room took a collective gasp at Adam’s voice. It flowed like satin, inspiring nothing but love.  
“Sink…like a stone… Walk home alone…  
It’s not the first time. It’s not the worst crime…  
Your soul will be okay…”

\---

“Tommy! If you don’t walk out that god damned door before I turn around. I’ll make sure you ain’t alive to walk out of it!” His father shouted at him, drunk as usual. Tommy sighed once and opened the door, shaking his one long shock of blonde hair out of his eyes. His father continued to rant  
“You ain’t even my son! Even if you were, you’d be my fucking daughter! That bitch was god damned bad influence on you! You even look like the whore, right down to the bloody lipstick!”  
Tommy pursed the red lips together but didn’t react. He still had a black eye and splinters from the last time he’d swung a punch. The tenement was still recovering as well.  
“I said get out you filthy bastard child! That whore ain’t comin’ back!” Tommy ignored the man who may or may not be his father and let the door slam closed once before it fell off its hinges. He began walking aimlessly down the street, admiring the way the sun played off his new tattoos. They might be a sign of the lower class, but he took pride in them. His clothes may tear and become filthy, but the ink was forever his personal art collection.  
They were the only thing he valued besides the music he played, and as he now realized, he no longer had any of his instruments. His father had destroyed his cello and the piano was impossible to carry. He mused over the possibility of getting new instruments when his thoughts were interrupted.  
“Well, you’re awful pretty, ain’t you?” He heard a man whisper at him from around the street corner.  
“What?” Tommy turned around to see the lurker in the shadows.  
“How much?” The man asked before looking him up and down again. Tommy was starting to see where this was going.  
“Um…” The man grabbed the portion of Tommy’s hair not chopped off and tugged causing him to let out a sharp cry.  
“I said how much you little tramp!?” Tommy pulled away and tried to make his decision on whether or not to flee.  
“How much you got?” He asked, haughtily as if he’d done this before.  
He wouldn’t allow himself to feel regret over this.  
After all, it would be nice to get some money on his birthday.  
Maybe he could get a new cello.

\---

“Adam! Where are you going?”  
However, Adam ignored the voice of his escort as he walked over to labor camp. He saw the lines of men and women working on planting something or other, but one stood out. He saw a long chunk of blonde hair cut in a peculiar way. But it was the face underneath the hair that made his heart skip a beat.  
It was like a beautiful little elf or an angel. Gorgeous deep brown eyes, upturned nose and a perfectly shaped cupid’s bow of a mouth.  
It was entirely incongruous with the harsh expression set on it and the tattoos crawling down his arm.  
“Beautiful,” He said as he approached the blonde man.  
“I sure as hell hope you’re not talking about me,” He responded without looking up from his work.  
“What’s your name?” Adam had to know. He had to discover this man who intrigued him so.  
“Tommy,” It was short, rough and careless sounding. Perfect.  
“Fitting,” Adam responded.  
“Well what’s your name oh magnificent one?” He finally paused in his work to look up at Adam.  
“Adam. I’d say being named after the first man isn’t so bad,”  
“If you believe in all that shit,” He looked down again.  
“Don’t curse at me. It’s common,” Adam repeated the ingrained lessons.  
“Well guess what? I’m fucking common! I’m a whore who got dragged into a labor camp, and who is now being pestered for no good reason by some damn pampered pretty boy!” Tommy stood on his tiptoes to shout into Adam’s face.  
“Pampered?” Adam asked, indignant.  
“Hold out your hand,” Tommy demanded.  
“What?”  
“Hold out your god damned hand!”  
Adam stripped off his leather glove and held out his hand. Tommy put his hand next to it.  
The difference was startling.  
Adam’s hand had smooth, carefully shaped silver polished fingernails and soft skin on long, delicate fingers that had clearly never seen a day of work in their life.  
Tommy’s was not so lucky. It was grimy with dirt and had long and ragged fingernails. The whole hand was covered in calluses and blisters and disappeared into the sea of tattoos up his arm.  
“Understand now, my pretty Adam? Wealth is more than money,”  
Adam just gazed at the man with some kind of awe in his eyes.  
“And beauty is more than wealth,” Adam said, “I hope you understand that my beautiful Tommy,”

\---

“Tommy! My beautiful Tommy!” Adam’s words drifted into Tommy’s ears as the stunning man lay on top of him. Tommy just sucked in a quick breath as he felt Adam deep inside. The grass of the clearing felt rough in his back, but he barely registered it.  
“My love…” Adam continued to whisper. “Oh, my love…” Tommy struggled to be able to think enough to open his eyes.  
He wanted to take in the sight of Adam’s broad muscled chest and his gorgeous face as he moved within. Both of their makeup had sweated off and Tommy could see all of the true face above him, the sparkling blue-grey eyes and freckled, full lips.  
“Fuck! Adam!”  
Both men finally gasped and shouted as they reached their point of release.  
They lay together, breathing heavily for a moment before Adam rolled over and pulled Tommy into an embrace.  
“God, I love it when you curse,”  
They had been meeting together for only two months, but it felt like forever as Adam caressed his hair and whispered into his ear.  
He spoke of promises about a future together, of buying Tommy all the instruments he could dream of, of performing together. Tommy knew that they were empty promises. The two of them had no hope together. But he couldn’t bring himself to disregard them just yet. He had done the same act that they had just done more times than he could count, but with Adam, he never felt used.  
He felt one tear pour down his face and he wasn't sure why.  
Tommy felt like maybe this was what it was like to be human.  
And to be loved.

\---

“Adam, you must soon choose a wife. You know this?” His mother announced while looking up from her reading.  
“Yes, mother. But I-I don’t know how to explain…”  
“How to explain that you prefer men?” She didn’t even look up  
“How did you-?”  
“Adam, I am hardly blind,”  
He blushed and lowered his head.  
“You are unconcerned?” He asked.  
“I would prefer it the other way so I could have my grandchildren that much sooner, but that is the way it is,” Her voice was grim, but she seemed to mean her words.  
“Thank you mother,” He allowed himself a small smile. That wasn’t so bad. If she could accept that about him, maybe he could be with his love no matter where he came from…  
“Now, we simply have to find you an appropriate companion. There will be no need to act out your impulses on cheap whores,” She gave him a knowing look, “The boy from the Allen family seems like a good match. You can see if he has the same inclinations as you. The family is respectable with a comparable status to our own…”  
“Wait, mother…What if I said that I already had someone in mind?”  
She tilted her head in intrigue.  
“But that they did not exactly come from a family that was…Lordly?” His voice raised in pitch with nerves.  
Her gaze hardened.  
“Adam…You will NOT be a disgrace to this family,” Her voice was like ice and Adam shrunk back.  
“You should be grateful I am accepting of your left of center attitude already. The makeup, the costumes, the singing, even liking men. That can all be explained. But one thing you cannot and will not do is be in a relationship with someone common! That is one thing that cannot be explained away or justified! You understand this?” She spoke quietly, but deadly.  
His instinct should’ve been to duck his head and agree, but that instinct had died in the wake of something infinitely more important.  
“But what if…”  
Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in disbelief.  
“What if I said I was in love with him?” He asked, brazenly.  
She barely paused.  
“Especially not then,”

\---

“Tommy, meet me on the veranda,” Tommy heard Adam whisper under his breath into his ear as he walked across the floor then disappeared out the back door. Tommy stood at the side of the space holding a platter in the room of high society members.  
He had been hired from the camp to help with the party at the Lambert household tonight.  
Adam had made sure of that. Tommy quickly around the room and then followed out the door. He turned and faced Adam as he looked out over the sea beyond the balcony.  
Adam turned and, before either could say anything, pulled Tommy into a vivid embrace. He smashed their lips together, and they kissed desperately until, gasping, they finally pulled apart. Adam’s blue eyes glistened with moisture.  
“There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry, my love. My mother won’t…listen.” Adam said in defeat.  
“I expected as much” Tommy didn’t look up at Adam’s eyes. He didn’t admit that he’d hoped differently. Hoped beyond hope.  
“None of them understand. I knew they wouldn’t understand,” Adam began shaking his head. “Love means nothing to them! Less than nothing! I know how they are…It’s status. All status!” Adam’s face screwed up in anger.  
“And I’ve got about as low a status as you can get,” Tommy whispered, “The Ratliff family is hardly high up in prestige,”  
“What do we do?” Adam asked, desperately.  
Tommy just looked up with wide, solemn eyes, before looking out to the sea…

\---

…“I have no future with you and you have no future with me,”  
“And neither of us has a future apart,”…

“Together then?”  
Tommy spoke before looking up to Adam, who was shedding his clothes in a last attempt to remove his old life. Tommy followed suit, ridding himself of the worn down labor uniform.  
Once both men were nude, discarded of any sign of status difference, they met each other’s eyes, linking hands. One soft, one calloused.  
“Together,” Adam said softly.  
Both turned to the edge in front of them, hearts finally soaring and fell forward.  
Slowly.  
Together.


End file.
